Christopher Blog

5) Here – 4:33

Not available since 1999

Child Philosophy

`Here’ is a song that was to document the `silent place’ in my mind that I could, in theory, retreat to. Where certain unvanquished beliefs and feelings could flourish. It is also a state of being usually felt some time around 2 or 3am when I was wide awake writing out new ideas.

`Stronger than truth’ and `stronger than love’ are child philosophy that I still hold on to. A classic example of this is when a father explains to a child the origin of the universe and God. The child will always ask `then who created God?’ Naturally this ends with either ice cream or whack on the child’s head. In some very rare instances, the child actually grows up and develops the theory of relativity or a wonderful death ray.

Oh Tesla, you scamp

I am ambivalent towards `Here.’ I don’t hate it, but don’t care for it either. The vocals are, yet again, the deal breaker. It would be another year or two before I would get involved with synthesizers to the point where I opted to not use `stock sounds’ anymore. All of `Here’ are just Korg 01/W presets. I will have to red-mark yet another song with LAZY.

From a compositional standpoint, it stays true to the motif of `Orchid.’ All the melodic lines call back `Entranced 1.0’ and the former eventually resolve to that piece. I like the soundscape ideas of distorted screaming and other vocal sounds. If I couldn’t sing a song right, I could at least create a weird racket in the background.

I think my intention was to take Nine Inch Nails’ `A Warm Place’ (or Bowie’s `Crystal Japan’) and basically put lyrics to it.

I was to completely rewrite `Here’ into something that was more accurate: Not a place of sacred truths, but a place of repeating horrific visuals and consuming metaphors. Spiders with photographs for heads that dragged their swollen bellies on the ground. That sort of happiness.

The original `Here’ that you are listening to, was wishful thinking on my part. There wasn’t a safe-haven in my subconscious for my over-sensitive soul to retreat to.

I was about half way through the rerecording of `Here’ when I scrapped `Orchid.’ I don’t have any rough mixes of it to share.

This concludes the First Song Cycle Of `Orchid’ Called `Denial.’

Tomorrow begins the `Doubt’ Song Cycle.