Christopher Blog

11) There – 3:05

Not available since 1999.

LOLCat Scratch Fever

If it was my intention to sound like a nasally wounded animal, then by God man, did I succeed.

`There’ is the musical antonym of `Here.’ All the key elements that establish `Orchid’ in the `Denial’ Song Cycle are present; wrapping up the second song cycle in a miserable black bow.

`There’ is a bitter song. No doubt about that. I can hear the shaky vitriol in my untrained voice when I say `believe me when I say thank you.’ I don’t have anything bad to say about the song save for the usual MIDI Cheese and shit vocal takes. Musically it’s coherent and follows the rules I laid out.

Who Dares? Who Cares?

The above subject line is repeated a few times in `There.’ The problem due to my re-editing and re-recording of `Orchid’ that there WAS a context to this line. `Who Dares, Who Cares’ is actually a line uttered at the end of the song `Salt.’ You can hear it in the original version of `Salt.’ I was too lazy when I re-recorded `Saltto include the choral chant. Idiot.

Album Artwork #2 – A Valiant Attempt and Owing Money

`Orchid’ was the last time I hired a graphic artist to create artwork. In the ye olde days some artists would post their graphics portfolio on an AOL personal page. I found this gentleman name Evan Buzzerio who was a local boy like me. (New Jersey Local.)

I found his artwork really interesting and dark. It was really cool patchwork Photoshop-type stuff that Cabin Fever Media was starting to do for metal groups at that time.

I contacted Evan and asked if he would be interested in doing the artwork for `Orchid.’ More specifically, the artwork for all 4 song cycles. He was receptive to the idea and dug the music of `Orchid.’ Some time passed by and in my inbox were the below 3 ideas.

I think this is the `Doubt' Panel. Behold the Screaming Peach Pit. My Favourite of the 3 Panels

I think this is the `Denial' Panel.

This is the 3rd Panel

The problem I had with the artwork is that it was too chaotic and too colourful. It was all over the place and it didn’t seem to make sense to `Orchid.’ It’s not bad by any stretch, but it wasn’t appropriate. I ended up not using the work and here is where my memory goes to shit:

I don’t remember if I told him I wasn’t going to use it. There was an issue with paying him for the services he rendered. This all should have been done by contract and included the scenario of `well, what if I don’t like it?’ We didn’t address that. I was naïve in the sense that I didn’t think he would present artwork that I thought wasn’t right for `Orchid.’ (continue reading…)

Buy CD - MP3 Version- FLAC Version

CD Version:$6.99 Standard DVD Case, album art, etc.

MP3 Version: $4.00 All songs 320 kbps encoded. DRM Free. Comes with a 13 Page PDF Booklet and Web Extras such as wall paper, avatars, etc.

FLAC Version: $4.00 Lossless Compression. Comes with a 13 Page PDF Booklet and Web Extras such as wall paper, avatars, etc.

Or

Torched Laughter & Smoke and Origination Bundle:

MP3 Version: $10.00 All 18 songs 320 kbps encoded. DRM Free. Comes with 2 PDF Booklets and Web Extras such as wall paper, avatars, etc.

FLAC Version: $10.00 All 18 songs Lossless Compression. Comes with 2 PDF Booklets and Web Extras such as wall paper, avatars, etc.

If you want to listen to all the songs on `Torched Laughter,’ you can hear them on the front page at www.comecloser.com

Some Notes:

I intended to do some updates prior to the release, but there was way too much to do. In order to release this album the way I wanted to, I had to sacrifice any updates/blogging to get everything ready. Hell, I’m still getting everything ready.

About the FLAC and MP3 Versions of `Torched Laughter:’

While you can get the album on i-tunes, (eventually. They take forever.) I set up the option where you can buy the album in better quality and get a whole bunch of extras that would not be available on i-Tunes or any of those sites and it’s considerably cheaper.

For the time being, the MP3 and FLAC versions are available through Paypal.

It was a lot of work and pretty risky to release the albums in multi-formats before the digital distributors get their hands on them because this is the first time I’m managing it on my own. If you experience any issues trying to purchase and download the music, let me know: info@comecloser.com

Thanks to all of you for your support and being involved peripherally in the recording of this album. You had to endure over 8 months of my constant yammering, and now you can hear what I’ve worked extremely hard at. Hope it was worth the wait.

Domain/Website Issues -

Talk about perfect timing, I’m having a dispute with a domain company regarding christopher.mu. As of now, it will NOT work. Please use www.comecloser.com
to access the site. I have no idea when this will be resolved.

-Christopher

http://anthemchallenge.cbc.ca/mediadetail/298424

I just submitted my entry to the Hockey Night In Canada Theme Music Contest. Please check it out.

For you non-Canadians who are not familiar with this contest, here is the backstory:

Hockey Night In Canada is one of Canada’s most watched weekend shows. It features NHL Hockey games. The Theme Music to this show has been part of the Canadian lexicon since 1968. Over the past year there has been a legal and financial rift between the show producers (CBC TV) and the composer. Neither party could come to an agreement so the license for this original Theme song has not been renewed.

CBC decided to hold a contest to see if us Canadians could come up with a new theme. Thousands have entered (like myself) and the odds of winning are fairly low. I am going to assume that most views, comments, and ratings will play a large roll in the voting process. The goal right now is to get this submission into the Semi-Finals so you and CBC producers can vote on it. So please view it, share it on facebook, tell your friends if you like it.

I’m up against famous Canadians and other signed or former signed acts along with hobbyists and struggling artists. I believe that the theme I created is an appropriate addition to the Hockey Night In Canada program.

The name of the piece is called `Yours to Hold High.’

Again the link is: http://anthemchallenge.cbc.ca/mediadetail/298424

It’s silly to keep using `day 1′ or `day # whatever’.’ I really have to stop doing that. Most of the days are so uneventful I am hard pressed to write any sort of update.

Some brief notes:

-`Jaw Filled Wreckage’ took a very long time to mix. Mainly because it’s the first song I’m mixing. Thankfully, this was finished a couple of days ago. Finishing up `The Tilted Figure’ today.

-How it sounds: Unprocessed, uncluttered, and unfiltered. How everything was recorded through the microphone is what you hear except with more bass, high end, clarity and a smattering of room acoustics. So strange that it’s infinitely harder to do this than create a synthetic environment that is overly processed and manipulated.

-A baby skunk was trapped in a window well for a day. I picked it up and let it go on its merry way.

George Carlin passed away yesterday at age 71.

I will miss his biting commentary on Western Civilization. It’s a tragic loss that his perspective was silenced.

Comedy innovation aside, he was an unflinching crusader for free speech. Through out the years of political correctness, religious propriety, and other regimes of stupidity, he unfailingly lashed out at all of those sacred cows. Then ate them.

On his last appearance on the Opie and Anthony show, George conveyed with sadness and frustration the horrific condition our collective state of being; the vortex of incompetence, conglomeration and politeness that we have slipped into. The most profound realisation of how our rights have been shit on was highlighted by George’s recollection of his tenure as a radio dj in the 1950’s. To paraphrase, the landscape of free speech CONSEQUENCES has shifted from intellectual discourse to apologetic tripe. Thought provoking or possibly offensive dialogue is no longer left to either live or die in the mind of the listener. Instead, these thoughts are crucified by fringe interest groups and stiff corporate policies.

Yes, he created the 7 Dirty Words bit. On the surface it was the adult equivalent of children saying `poo’ to one another. The visceral level of the joke was a cautionary tale of speech crime. Through his comedy, George was a teacher and continuously warned us of the stupidity that was just around the corner.

Enough of my terrible writing, go watch his HBO specials. And learn something.

The ultimate work he created was his own coffin.

It was designed to be an exact replica of Pope John Paul II’s coffin. The master carpenter apologised about how it was impossible to procure cypress in this part of the world and had to settle with pine for its creation. He said `whoever dies first gets it,’ implying either him or his wife.

Above is the coffin Pope John Paul II was buried in and what the master carpenter replicated

Right now it stands in a corner of his studio covered in sheets in order to keep the attention away from this supposed morbidity. He was sheepish about showing the coffin. With a child-like grin he said while looking at the floor, `well, it’s a bit morbid you know. But if you really want to see it…’

Of course I wanted to see it. A quick removal of the sheets revealed a trapezoidal container built with a craftsmanship that you are either born with or spend your whole life developing.

I didn’t think it morbid at all. It’s a powerful act to construct and decide your fate post mortem. Many loved ones will fret and panic regarding which Cadillac-style casket to throw the remains into. Not to mention the awesome debt that will follow. While it wasn’t the craftsman’s intention to give a middle finger to the Funeral Industry and the coddling policies of government, it can be easily seen as such. His intent was rooted in his religion and admiration for the pope.

Gregg was the master carpenter of restorative art when Canada had an actual government division devoted to Art Restoration (during the Trudeau years.) He’s restored everything from elegant chairs/tables for the supreme court to a 19th century pram to ornate ceramic bowls from the Middle East. Masterful work was done with a meticulousness and exuberance that can be fully appreciated in light of our current lack of standards and quality control.

He’s very enthusiastic talking about all the various projects he has done. The life of `art restorer/fixer upper’ is reclusive: Sitting alone in a studio with a lot of chemicals and measurements. I sit alone in a studio with a lot of enjoyable chemicals. That is the extent of our similarities and it was a pleasure meeting him this past weekend.

-South of Ottawa June 7, 2008

Mixing didn’t go so well because I’m not thrilled with the current reverbs I have. The ones I do have are good for providing space for a lot of tracks, but not very good for solo instruments or sparser environments. They’re too fake sounding. While reverb in itself is fake creating fake ambience, I would like to find a find one that at least simulates a medium-sized room well.

Plus, I really wasn’t in the mood to mix. It’s one of those things (like recording) where if you are not focused, you’re kind of doomed. The onus is on me to solve the technical problems. If I was a solely an old school producer and had an engineer in my employ, my mood wouldn’t really matter. I could yell and yell at the guy until it sounded correct. All I would have to do is listen and mercilessly criticize until I felt it was acceptable. Oh how I long to be in that state where I can bask in self-importance and make others feel awful. (Though those close to me may argue that this is a reality now)

Example now: Since the reverbs I have aren’t what I need for this project, I need to go hunting for a Convolution-based reverb and dip into my budget. If I was an old school producer, the scenario would go like this:

(Me is played by a cute little me with red demonic eyes)

 (Engineer is played by late 80’s hockey player Tim Kerr)

We need a convolution-based reverb for this track

 Ok. But I don’t have one here.

 You’re an engineer and don’t have one in your sonic repertoire? GET ONE NOW INGRATE!

SIR! YES SIR!

THAT’S RIGHT. MY HAND IS STRONG BOY.

See? Nice and easy. I can sit back in a leather couch, and just THINK. Think important things until the engineer (or his intern) comes back with the reverb. And look brooding. A girl who doesn’t talk and devoid of interpersonal skills will massage my shoulders.

I can wear vibrant feathery plumes, use a cane wherever I go and tell brilliant overqualified audio specialists how everything should sound. Then they can curse my name behind my back and blog about my incompetence and arrogance at their secret audio messageboards. They’ll make nasty audio technical jokes like `If he reduced the volume of his voice by -72db he’d sound fantastic!’ They’ll LOL, but it will be typed angrily.

But alas, this is not my reality. But I can dream. I will be testing out the reverb this weekend while traveling

These are search terms to find this blog:

Christopher

DVD Case

Lucifer Rising

Bootleg

what’s the yellow stuff in my wounds

It’s custard.

Instead of talking about how mixing is going, please see the below picture.

Driftwood discovered on one of the many country sideroads in the area. It was removed from said sideroad and now resides `a little closer’ to my home. No sense having this little piece of nature go to waste on the edge of some drunk’s property.

This alien hydra head thingy is about 4 1/2 feet tall and about 100 lbs. It’s natural weight falls horizontally so I had to prop the driftwood in its current vertical position.

I’m letting it stand where it is for now, but I do have this urge to spray paint it black.

Mixing is going fine. I am clicking, panning, inserting, and patching with much fervour.

4 aging wives sit in a booth next to me at a fantastic Japanese restaurant. It didn’t take much to discern that they all lived in the same newly constructed `upper class’ subdivision.

Below are charming nuggets of their sloppy noveau riche dialogue:
- I WOULDN’T LET MY CHILDREN GO TO EUROPE BECAUSE I WAS SO WORRIED! WHY SHOULD THEY GO WHEN I NEVER GOT THE CHANCE???

- MY HUSBAND WAS FRISKY WHEN HE GOT HOME FROM GOLF. I WAS STUCK IN THE BEDROOM ALL WEEKEND. IT SUCKED!!

- CAN YOU COOK MY SUSHI??? I DON’T LIKE RAW FISH.

- I’M GOING TO JAMAICA WITH MY DAUGHTER KAYLA! IT’LL BE SOOOO INTERESTING GOING TO A FOREIGN COUNTRY!!

- I’M HAVING A PARTY AND EVERYONE WILL HAVE TO WEAR AN OUTFIT FROM VALUE VILLAGE OR THE SALVATION ARMY. THERE WILL BE A PRIZE FOR BEST OUTFIT. THIS IS A WAY TO GIVE BACK TO THE POOR COMMUNITY.

I think one of the most fascinating aspects of this quartet’s offensive vibrations was that none of them were listening to one another. One would spout something about herself, and then another would respond in kind. It seemed as if one just contributed some sort of sound to the menopause cacophony, she was adding to a greater, more horrific force. Like an awakening of the Cooking Channel Cthulu.

From the Toronto Star

Canadian rock and jazz musician Jeff Healey died Sunday in a Toronto hospital after a battle with cancer, his publicist said.He was 41.

Healey’s battle with cancer began at age one when he lost his sight due to Retinoblastoma, a rare form of retinal cancer.

Due to his blindness, Healey taught himself to play guitar by laying the instrument across his lap.

His unique playing style, combined with his blues-oriented vocals, earned him a reputation as a teenage musical prodigy. He shared stages with George Harrison, B.B. King and Stevie Ray Vaughan.

I guess God needed a blind guitar guru from Canada who starred in a film with Patrick Swayze.

Jeff was a great guitarist who definitely had an influence on me in my formative years. I never realised he had to endure cancer his whole life. Any interview I read `back in the day’ he just described that he lost his eyesight at birth and that was that.

This is the time, dear reader, where you take stock of your life, appreciate his challenges and triumphs, and eventually forget about them. Before you and I forget, here is an anecdote of my childhood fandom of Jeff Healy:

My musical relationship with Jeff Healy started with blood and ended with insults.

(continue reading…)

Search terms to find this blog: 

heroin lord

I’m blushing.

The second I walk into my home and close the door behind me I hear this coming from the computer speakers.

Ugh. Now even the radio is talking to me. Thanks Ant.

The Missus was looking for a guitar. The playing of the game `Rockband’ really inspired her to learn how to play a real guitar. She had her sights set on 2 different guitars. One makes me cringe, the other I salivate over. BC RICH WARLOCK (yech) and a Ibanez Artcore (YES!)

What can I say, she’s an enigmatic little camper.

BC Rich Warlock. Roar.

(continue reading…)